Hello. Welcome to the Film Scouts Language Lab. This is the second lesson
in the Geek Speak series. Here are some of the words and phrases working
their way into everyday vocabulary in the high-tech world. To pass yourself
off as a member of the techno-elite, you should be prepared to sprinkle
one or two of these in casual conversation.
- Dilberted
- To be exploited and oppressed by your boss. Derived from the experiences
of Dilbert, the geek-in-hell comic strip character. "I've been dilberted
again. The old man revised the specs for the fourth time this week."
- Link Rot
- The process by which links on a web page became obsolete as the sites
they're connected to change location or die.
- Chip Jewelry
- A euphamism for old computers destined to be scrapped or turned into
decorative ornaments. "I paid three grand for that Mac SE, and now
it's nothing but chip jewelry."
- Crapplet
- A badly written or profoundly useless Java applet. "I just wasted
30 minutes downloading this stinkin' crapplet!"
- Plug-and-Play
- A new hire who doesn't need any training. "The new guy, John,
is great. He's totally plug-and-play."
- World Wide Wait
- The real meaning of WWW.
- CGI Joe
- A hard-core CGI script programmer with all the social skills and charisma
of a plastic action figure.
- Dorito Syndrome
- Feelings of emptiness and dissatisfaction triggered by addictive substances
that lack nutritional content. "I just spent six hours surfing the
Web, and now I've got a bad case of Dorito Syndrome."
- Under Mouse Arrest
- Getting busted for violating an online service's rules of conduct.
"Sorry I couldn't get back to you. AOL put me under mouse arrest."
- Glazing
- Corporate-speak for sleeping with your eyes open. A popular pastime
at conferences and early-morning meetings. "Didn't he notice that half
the room was glazing by the second session?"
- 404
- Someone who's clueless. From the browser message "404, URL Not
Found," meaning that the material you're looking for is not at that
address. "Don't bother asking him...he's 404, man."
- Dead Tree Edition
- The paper version of a publication available in both paper and electronic
forms, as in "the dead tree edition of the San Francisco Chronicle..."
- Egosurfing
- Scanning the net, databases, print media, or research papers looking
for the mention of your name.
- Graybar Land
- The place you go while you're staring at a computer that's processing
something very slowly (while you watch the gray progress bar creep across
the screen). "I was in graybar land for what seemed like hours, thanks
to that CAD rendering."
- Open-Collar Workers
- People who work at home; telecommuters.
- Squirt The Bird
- To transmit a signal up to a satellite. "Crew and talent are
ready...what time do we squirt the bird?"
- Brain Fart
- A biproduct of a bloated mind producing information effortlessly.
A burst of useful information. "I know you're busy on the Microsoft
story, but can you give us a brain fart on the Mitnik bust?" Variation
of old hacker slang that had more negative connotations.
- Cobweb Site
- A World Wide Web site that hasn't been updated for a long time; a
dead web page.
- It's a Feature
- From the adage "It's not a bug, it's a feature." Used (sarcastically)
to describe an unpleasant experience that you wish to gloss over.
- Keyboard Plaque
- The disgusting buildup of dirt and crud found on computer keyboards.
"Are there any other terminals I can use? This one has a bad case of
keyboard plaque."
- Career-Limiting Move (CLM)
- Used among microserfs to describe an ill-advised activity. Trashing
your boss while he or she is within earshot is a serious CLM.
- Elvis Year
- The peak year of something's popularity. "Barney the dinosaur's
Elvis year was 1993."
- Alpha Geek
- The most knowledgable, technically proficient person in an office
or work group. "Ask Larry, he's the alpha geek around here."
- Adminisphere
- The rarified organizational layers beginning just above the rank and
file. Decisions that fall from the adminisphere are often profoundly inappropriate
or irrelevant to the problems they were designed to solve.
- Tourists
- People who are taking training classes just to get a vacation from
their jobs. "We had about three serious students in the class; the
rest were tourists."
- Blowing Your Buffer
- Losing one's train of thought. Occurs when the person you are speaking
with won't let you get a word in edgewise or has just said something so
astonishing that your train gets derailed. "Damn, I just blew my buffer!"
- Gray Matter
- Older, experienced business people hired by young entrpreneurial firms
looking to appear more reputable and established.
- Bookmark
- To take note of a person for future reference (a metaphor borrowed
from web browsers). "I bookmarked him after seeing his cool demo at
Siggraph."
- Nyetscape
- Nickname for AOL's less-than-full-featured Web browser.
- Beepilepsy
- The brief siezure people sometimes suffer when their beepers go off,
especially in vibrator mode. Characterized by physical spasms, goofy facial
expressions, and stopping speech in mid-sentence.
- Salmon Day
- The experience of spending an entire day swimming upstream only to
get screwed in the end.
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