In an effort to help you cope, Film Scouts' Cannes veterans will attempt to answer some of the questions that may be troubling you at this time.
With the once modest but superbly located Hotel Splendid charging $265 a night and most hotels demanding the equivalent of Jim Carrey's weekly take home pay for a mere cell, do you have any last-minute suggestions as to where to find a relatively cheap room in Cannes? Is it better to simply rent an apartment for the month? If so, is it still possible to find a rental?
Mayra: Well I just rented an apartment. The deal began at 29,000 FF And I took it down to the more reasonable 11,000 ff. And I insisted that I have access to it for the entire month. Although I am only there for the two weeks. I just want to know that I could stay if I wanted to. This way it justifies the cost since I can look at it over a 30 day period. So, yes, it is possible.
Kathleen: I couldn't help but notice that Pamela Anderson wore form-fitting black leather to Cannes last year. Since black leather does nothing for me I simply have to ask just what does one wear when you want to attract the attention of someone like Miramax honcho Harvey Weinstein and still maintain your professional cool? Does one still need a proper tux to gain access to night screenings at the Palais or will the Antonio Banderas look of a black T-shirt and black jacket win points with the Cannes fashion jury? Or should we consider hiring the New York tailor who designed Robert DeNiro's drop-dead wardrobe in CASINO?
Mayra: Consider calling up for Bobby's tailor. I will wear black leather this year. I am convinced that Pamela Anderson is the 90's Marilyn Monroe and well....I want all of her fashion tips. I may be dark haired and not have had all the advantages of plastic surgery. But hey I need those fashion tips... you never know how good you can look until you seen your plastic surgeon.
Kathleen: Speaking of Harvey, can you tell us the name of his favorite Cannes hang-out? I'm dying to know because I've heard he tends to have temper tantrums in restaurants when the deals don't go his way. To be more precise, what are the hottest new restaurants in Cannes, namely the ones in which you are guaranteed to overhear the table-talk of a major Hollywood player?
Mayra: Well, I promise I will be there and record every moment. I know he likes to be in public. Maybe he will throw something at me this year, but first I have to have a movie deal. Perhaps a story about a women with a film Website.... quick, give me that cellular phone.
Kathleen: This question is addressed to Gill Holland, Film Scouts' official party animal. Where do the Quentin Tarantino clones and Mike Ovitz wannabes go to heal their psychic wounds after a hard day's work on the Croisette? In other words where does the young, hip crowd gravitate? Is there currently a très cool bar in beautiful downtown Cannes where the vin is ordinaire but the après-movie discussions are intense?
Mayra: Well, I also plan to tag along with Gill. I also think our usher, Jerry, will be with Gill for most of Cannes. I know Jerry (the usher) personally told me he is on Babe Watch.....these guys will have to advise you daily where they will prowl. And I will tell...if you care to know. You know I have Jerry's ear. Gill, well he is a bit more secretive.
Kathleen: In Cannes there are always too many movies and not enough tickets. The most coveted credential is a press pass which opens almost all the right theater doors. Without that pass you can expect to cry tears of frustration as you wait for the festival bureaucracy to decide whether or not you are worthy of receiving a ticket to a Palais screening. We are not worthy. We cannot claim to have won the Croix de Guerre. Nor did we ever write a doctoral thesis on Jerry Lewis which is one sure way to impress the French. That being the case what kind of bullying tactics do you recommend for those of us who'd like to catch a movie in Cannes?
Mayra: I prefer flirting, personally. And that black leather get-up that Pamela Anderson wore last year... well, I will get one just like it. Forget couture, just give me those seductive threads. And way cool for those important deals with Hollywood, too.
A true story: I know a producer who would wade in the water down from the public beach into the very select private beach parties. Security never thought that this would happen. So this guy would wade from party to party. You know what? He made a deal at the Disney Party he waded into.
The most important thing is to have a good time. And if you can make it
this year, please by all means come with us, virually or in the flesh. See
ya on the Riviera.
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