What a sense of humor the French have. Not that I've ever noticed any
working the Cannes Festival, where I mostly hear the unfunny, faux earnest
words, "Je suis desolé" which makes me want to wring their
silly necks. But at this festival they have shown how really good-natured
and funny they are by putting a B soap opera, "Le Jour et La Nuit,"
in the competition. An aging Alain Delon, known for being nouvelle-cute
during the Nouvelle Vague, plays an aging writer whose first novel about
a lost love is adapted to the screen. This means that an old guy gets to
be adored by a young blonde. This is surely a breakthrough for French cinema.
And though one does get to see several female bottoms, in the entire film
there is not one good dress.
I was about to get seriously upset about the appalling state of American
education after seeing the Panorama film "Arresting Gena," about
a New Jersey teenager so dumb she can't tell when her friends are selling
drugs. Aside from that, and the somewhat slow pacing, the film is interesting,
except of course that a film about being down and out in N.J. is redundant.
In any case. I'm not upset about U.S. education because "Der Fluss"
proves that teenagers are just as dumb in Taiwan. Not only do they swim
in polluted rivers, but when they contract the bubonic plague they think
they have a neck-ache. So do the parents, who are more concerned with their
lovers than their kids, and so do the doctors who use incense rather than
modern medicine. So one film manages to indict the family, the medical system
and tradition (no doubt to the delight of the Taiwan tourist service), but
not only that. "Der Fluss" gets the award for longest urination
in movie history, longest tongue (in a different scene), longest roof leak,
and longest hand job. In sum, this is a film about liquids and pollution,
and as an American I understand this: now that mainland China is taking
Hong Kong, the Taiwanese are afraid - as Americans were in the '50s - that
the Commies are poisoning the water.
Teenagers apparently are not dumb in Wales. They outsmart both cops and
thugs in "Twin Town," the first half of which at least is outrageous
and clever. So the Welsh will take over the world--with the Chinese of course.
Does this mean we have to eat Welsh food?
If Albert Wiederspiel is catering, I accept. He organized the "Twin
Town" party, which in addition to having enough champagne had two filmic
firsts: a clothesline complete with drying underwear - a tease for the tourist
spots of Wales, and a working masseuse. Albert, will you cater my life so
I can stop worrying about offers to Bratislava and men who want to love
me without my body?
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