1. LIZARDS: Early talk has director Roland Emmerich opening his "Godzilla" at the fesival, almost guaranteeing the presence of a giant, inflatable, fire-breathing lizard floating just off the Mediterranean shore. And don't forget the burning asteroids to promote the summer's slew of comet flicks.
2. BOB: Earlier this year, Robert DeNiro angrily vowed never to return to the festival, or the country, for the matter. Seems Bob was a bit peeved about his treatment by the French legal authorities, who hauled him in for questioning over an alleged Paris call girl ring. But even wild whores couldn't drag away his compadre Marty Scorcese, who is chairing the jury this year.
3. THE SUN: It took about a week for the biggest star of all to make an appearance last year, with temps hovering in the 50s for the fiftieth festival. And this year? Does El Niño make the transatlantic trip as well?
4. STRIKES: Planes, trains and automobile stoppages - hey, it's France. It doesn't matter that it's the lone opportunity for the Gauls to make a positive impression on the world press corps; they always manage to bungle the transportation situation somehow.
5. DAMON: As in Oscar-winner Matt. The talk of the Tinseltown teen set is dating Winona Ryder (nee Horowitz). And Winona Ryder is sitting on the festival jury. You see what we're getting at?
6. HOOLIGANS: With the World Cup scheduled to kick off in France only weeks after Cannes' culmination, you're bound to run into more than a handful of drunk, rowdy British soccer fans in sweaty Alan Shearer jerseys. No, wait, those are the people in line for the new Brenda Fricker film.
7. ICEBERGS: They made Jim Cameron "king of the world." So expect to see more than a few "Titanic" impostors in the Marché this year. Hey, maybe the adult industry even gets in on the maritime action! We can see it now: Pamela going down on Tommy going down on their houseboat.
8. HYPE: The festival hoopla machine was operating at "ludicrous" speed for last year's fiftieth anniversary celebration. A "chilling-out" is certainly in order for number 51. Hey, the pharmaceutical laws tend to be looser in France - isn't valium available over-the-counter?
9. PAPARAZZI: With respect to "La Dolce Vita," Cannes invented the paparazzi profession. But will there be any noticeable behavioral improvements in light of the whole Princess Diana thing? Or has everybody returned to form after a nine-month hiatus?
10. THE MOVIES: Oh, yeah. They also show films at Cannes. If you're lucky, you might be able to swing tickets to a couple.
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